Deceptive strength…curious.  I had to ask;  “What do you mean by that?”.  Well, things get done very effectively and without any threats, pounding on tables, or high drama.  So, I surmise that deceptive strength is a way to describe leadership that sets objectives and then gets out of the way.  Leadership that outlines objectives, recruits the right people with the right skills, abilities, and energy; then steps to the back of the room.  To me, the strength part of the equation is holding yourself back once you’ve set events into motion.  Not jumping in, not over-managing, and ultimately showing self-restraint which allows others to stand and deliver.  What if an entire team or department or non-profit board of directors played the game this way? 

Try it and find-out…then feel free to share your stories!

A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. – Mohandas Gandhi

Sounds simple enough and even harmless…right?  It’s not quite on the level of  “don’t worry, be happy” , especially when you consider that thinking, feeling, and repeatedly taking action can re-wire one’s brain connections.  Whoa, now hold on just a minute…this sounds like science fiction!  I assure you that this is no Star Trek redux.  Researchers (at MIT no less) have determined that thoughts, like the ones my childern experience during intense video gaming; can actually re-configure the brain’s connections. 

So, from Gandhi, to James T. Kirk, to Halo III, and back again.  The big question is:  What are you feeding your brain?  What new ways of thinking are you using to shape you own future.  If you think it or imagine it,  you can then create it.  Athletes do this all the time.  They envison success, they picture it, feel it, and soak it all in.  Then they open thier eyes and do it again.  Is this process available to us mere mortals, the button down shirt crowd…you bet it is!

Go forth and think for yourself…

Are you leading yourself?  Are you clear with yourself?  Have you identified your strengths?  Have you oriented your life (personal or professional) around them?  Are you chasing what you want or creating (some would say “attracting”) it.  Enough already with the questions; leadership, like charity, begins at home.  I believe that being clear with ourselves produces significantly clearer leadership for others.  Knowing your strengths can help you succeed alone and when leading others.   Building a team with complimentary strengths can shorten the distance between opportunity and results.

Chasing results, whatever they may be, can be exhausting, time-consuming, and fruitless.  Whether it is a relationship, a partnership, or a new customer; chasing often triggers the primordial “fight or flight” response in others.  What if you were so clear and so focused on what you want for an outcome, that attaining it almost seemed easy, like the results came to you.  Some people have made this a habit.  We often read about them in history books or more recently on the world-wide-web.  There are numerous well-documented success principles and in my mind; Knowing (then leading) yourself is a precursor to them all.

Self leadership begins by looking in the mirror.  Reflecting on what you say and do is important.  Getting yourself in alignment first sets an example for others.  Leaders are much more effective when their words and actions match.  When this happens, true leadership is easy to spot. 

Self leadership is what happens when nobody else is looking (unless you count the person in the mirror).

Do we really serve others (or ourselves) when we say “yes” all the time?  Or worse, do we serve others (or ourselves) when we say “yes” despite wanting to say “no” or even “yes” when we really mean “no”?  How many people refuse to say “no” because they view themselves as nice people and they perceive saying “no” as not nice ? 

 As a leader, do you strive to be liked, feared, or respected? 

For some this may be elementary, for others, totally advanced psychology.  I believe that saying “no” can deepen relationships.  Being honest (and direct) with people demonstrates respect for them and for yourself.  Say “no” when you mean “no” and you’ll be amazed how much time you get back not beating yourself up for saying “yes” or feeling guilty for saying “yes” and then not meeting a commitment that you’ve made or keeping a commitment that you’ve made against your better judgment.  N-O: these two little letters are powerful when used properly. 

Now, respect – there are ways to say “no” ranging from “Are you kidding…”  to “I’m honored by your request, however I must decline”.  Use the phrase that feels natural and  works for you.  The important thing is that you are being true to yourself and the people around you.  I can guarantee you that people will not always like hearing “no”, but for some unexplainable reason, they will come to appreciate your candor and your clarity.  They will know where you stand and will come to rely on your honesty. 

Is this starting to sound like the right stuff for successful leadership? (Y/N)

Leadership is certainly more art than science.  Yes, there is a process that you can follow to be a better leader; ask questions, listen, observe, create a vision, share that vision, focus on results etc, etc….   There’s no single formula for success nor is there only one way to lead.  By default, as a leader, you are leading others.  The others in this equation are people…with all of their personal and situational variations in tow.  Leadership is more art than science…and art is the creative expression of a person or persons.  So back to my hypothesis: Leadership is personal.  I define this as bringing your whole self to the role, to the process of being a leader.  A leader’s role includes the obligation to be an authentic and complete person.  With all due respect to great English bard; although “all the world is a stage”; playing a part (rather than) being yourself makes leadership impersonal, false and I’d wager, very ineffective.

How do you prepare to be you?  How do you present the real you to your team?  Start by putting yourself in their place.  If you are committed to providing them with everything that they need to be successful; then start by doing that for yourself.  If they need a break or encouragement; then start by noticing when you need a break or encouragement and get it for yourself.  Whoa!  Are we being pulled right into the orbit of “actions speak louder that words”?  Cliché yes, but does it ever get old?  Not for me!

What if you were to treat yourself as well as you treat your team?  They will notice.  Give yourself what you need…don’t expect anyone else to.  And since all eyes are on you; your team will learn to do this for themselves making them more self sufficient and effective.  Good for them, good for you…all because you realize that leadership is personal and it starts with you!!

Politics aside – The late Senator Edward M. Kennedy led by example; his leadership was not perfect but it was very personal.

What’s all this noise about napping, slowing down, or pacing ourselves?  I adopted the expression “it’s a marathon not a sprint” a few years ago when I noticed people being in a rush all the time.  Whenever people became agitated about things taking too long; if appropriate, I would espouse my marathon philosophy.  Many of life’s challenges and opportunities do not expire.  There is time to deal with them in such a way that you feel good about the process as well as the outcome.  However, when we “force” the issue, rush to “get it done”, or skip steps…often times that empty feeling in the pit of our stomach shows up.  Then there’s the guilt of; “I should have done X or Y” or “Why was I in such a rush?”.  Yikes…double jeopardy!

I’ve been reading articles for the last week that talk about the value of napping, scheduling down-time, or even scheduling time to “reflect”.  Truth be told, I’ve been testing the “napping is productive” theory and I think there’s something to it.  But let’s talk about reflecting on an experience, a conversation, a problem, or even a success.  Reflection is an important way in which we process our experiences.  Not surprisingly, reflection, or processing experiences takes time.  The days of looking in the rear view mirror for quick answers or historical guidance are gone.  We’re facing a whole new leadership landscape and like the reasoning beings that we are; let’s take advantage of our brain power to better understand our situation.  Challenges and opportunities will continue to present themselves and we have a choice: to better understand them (and maybe even ourselves) or to check them off the list as quickly as we can.

Don’t even get me started about the tortoise and the hare…

How do we communicate responsibly?  Is it a question of volume (loud), like we see on the news?  Is it a question of eloquence (quality)?  Is it the number of words (the other volume – quantity)?  Communication between two people or between many people can be complex or it can be simple.  I’m a fan of taking responsibility for all three phases of my communication: setting my intention, sending and receiving.  Does your communication begin and end when you send?  Are you willing to prepare, execute, AND confirm that your communication “hit the mark”?   

All together now… “How can I do that?” or “Who has time for all that?”  Let’s break it down: there’s what you intend to accomplish, there’s what you say, there’s how you say it, then there’s the extra work of asking the other person or people what they heard.  I realize that if there are ten people on the receiving end; that there could be as many as ten different interpretations of what you said (again, just watch the news).  Let’s deal with one-on-one communication today.  As you already know, the most effective type of communication is verbal and preferably, face-to-face.

So, here’s the long and the short of it.  Be willing to set you intention for the other person to hear what you have to say in the way that you intend it.  Then, directly say what you want to say (see earlier post).  Finally, ask the other person what they heard.  You may not believe that you have time for a three step process, but I’ll bet you do.  When was the last time that a misunderstanding took less than three steps to clear-up?

Happy Trails…

Water, wind, time, or the energy/passions of others.  How do we control these or hold these in our hands? Let’s start with water; we can employ a tool (glass, cup, or bowl) or technology (aqueduct, canal) to hold or guide it.  How do we control the energy and passion of the people we lead?  Like water we cannot hold it on our hands, we cannot lock-it up in a closet, we cannot command it to respond.  We can however, create a culture that invites people to show-up everyday with all of their energy, passions, and creativity in tow.  Imagine the environment or culture as a metaphor for the glass or canal.  Have you heard the statistic that people (we) are made up of 70% water? Hmmm, interesting parallel.

On to what I call the “illusion of control”.  Watch the Weather Channel often enough and you quickly realize that we (humans) are not in control of weather, water, wind, and much much more.  Yet we sometimes enter the business world thinking that we will bend it, and others in it, to our will.  We do control our approach to business, our reaction to uncontrollable events, and how we choose to guide (lead) others. 

It is fair to say that the old leadership playbook has been shredded and most of us are learning to lead in new and dynamic ways across a shifting landscape?  We do not have the control that we imagined nor do we not have an abundance of historical reference in today’s global, interconnected, and ever-changing economy. 

Like water…people will fill any void, whatever the niche, whatever the opportunity, human energy finds its’ level.  Successful leaders acknowledge the properties and qualities of the people that they are leading.  They assess the opportunities and goals, then choose processes and tools to insure that human energy is converted into success. 

Can you toss me that towel?

One of my favorite saying is “we are all human beings first, before we are what it says on our business cards”  Based on the science; we are approximately 98% genetically the sameand DNA doesn’t lie.  Being part of the human race speaks volumes about what we ALL have in common.  Now, we all know that there are many occasions when we don’t appear to have anything in common…and that’s a post for another day.  We literally have common ground “built-in” at the cellular level.  Science has proven what John Donne wrote  400 years ago.  “No (wo)man is an island, entire of itself; every (wo)man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main…”

John Donne, Meditation XVII, English clergyman & poet (1572 – 1631)

So what does all of this have to do with Leadership?  Good question.  Introduce the world-wide-web and now we are connected to many many more of our human family members.  And the shared experiences multiply at what appears to be speed of light.  Does the old definition of leadership still fit?.  Is it about crushing opponents, severing bloodlines, conquering lands, or more recently; donning the fated #1 foam finger?  I hope not.

Here’s my suggestion: we have much more in common than we realize, not only are we genetically linked, but for the most part we all want the same outcomes – success, satisfaction, to enjoy the fruits of our labor, choice and freedom to choose.   As a leader (not follower), there is an added opportunity (responsibility) to lead, support, guide, and yes, sometimes drive others to achieving their goals.  Yes, people do choose to be followers and you have an obligation to contribute to everyone’s success regardless of your venue.

No Pressure….

 To check my facts; wiki – human being (very cool).  http://www.wikipedia.org/

I want people to be clear and direct with me.  Clear and direct language can be productive and efficient (as less energy is wasted during the process).  Gone are the opportunities to hem and haw, to be confused, or to do nothing.  Clear and direct doesn’t have to come across as short, harsh or even mean.  Can you be clear and compassionate?  Can you be direct without being abrupt?  Can you be courageous, always have your intensity dialed-up, and still take the time to build consensus?   Let me be clear and direct: yes, yes, yes.

I grant you that getting comfortable with direct speakers is an “acquired taste”.  It certainly was for me (thanks Paul).  Many of us are wired from a young age to be less than direct.  Subtlety is definitely an important quality (skill) and most importantly, you must know when to employ it.  Now back to the matter at hand; hedging your bet, skirting the issue, dancing around bad news…how many of us can fondly recall being on the receiving end of this kind of communication in a business situation?  The silence is deafening (I imagine).

Say what is so and be willing to take what you get in return.  The clearer and more direct you are as a leader; the clearer and more direct others will be in response to you.  This is not to say there will always be agreement and merriment, it is however to say, that what needs to come next will happen much faster.  Here’s to being clear, direct, engaged, courageous, and timely whenever you lead.

Tally Ho !!